The Scars I Possess
by JadeLiv
Summary: Elena bears heavy weights on her shoulders after living many long years with her sister Karai and her father, Oroku Saki. After deciding enough is enough, she flees to find herself meeting the turtles. Will she be strong enough to face and bring down Oroku Saki and Karai? Or will she fall into the darkness that's already threatening to consume her?
1. Chapter 1

**I'm no good at romances… but I wanted to try it SO..**

**This is going to be a pretty dark story. (Sorry, I have to.) Takes place in the 2007 universe, many years before the Winters incident. The turtles are about 18 in this story.**

**And I know I started this story before, but I'm starting it over. Period. **

**Chapter 1**

* * *

><p>"So... <em>Elena,<em> You're not scared of me?" The orange banded turtle asked, looking rather astonished as he handed me a damp rag.

I gratefully accepted the rag, wincing slightly as I dabbed the coolness on my cheek. Three long cuts ran from the top of my cheekbone down to the top of my shoulder. Still relatively fresh. No more than a couple hours old and all from the courtesy of my corrupted father.

"I've seen a lot of things Michelangelo. You're pretty tame."

_Michelangelo _had followed me. Informing me only moments earlier that his three brothers and himself had heard me and my older sister Karai arguing on the docks of the East River. Michelangelos eldest brother had sent him to follow me as I ran from the docks, away from my sister despite her calls for me to stop. I had no idea I was being followed by the turtle when I hid myself in an abandoned gas station.

Now here I am, having a friendly chat with a mutant. And I know more about him than he thinks.

Michelangelo grinned sheepishly as he slid his three fingered hand over his head. "Please dude, call me Mikey."

I raised a brow. "Dude?"

He shrugged, leaning his shell against the wall as I sat down on a metal chair, keeping the backrest of the chair in front of me so I could rest my arms on it. I kept dabbing the rag over my cheek, lifting it periodically to check the crimson that stained it. I could physically feel Mikeys worry as he watched me.

I jumped at the stomping sound that entered the room. I dropped the rag, startled as another mutant with a red mask headed straight for Mikey with his fist raised.

"Mikey! What the hell are you thinking?"

Mikey held his arms up to defend himself.

"Raph! Knock it off." Two more turtles revealed themselves. One with a purple mask and one with a blue mask.

Raph snapped his head around and gave the blue banded turtle a icy glare. "We told him not to talk to her by himself Leo!"

Leo ignored Raph and locked his gaze towards me. I could tell he noted the nasty cut as well as Mikey did. "So you're Karai's sister?"

I let out a small sigh as I swooped the rag off the ground. "Ya. She's uh... A few years older than me. Mikey mentioned you guys were eavesdropping on me and her at the docks on the East River."

Leo nodded, crossing his arms over his plastron. "We didn't hear too much. You want to enlighten us?"

I knew who these guys were. Father had talked about them often. He always told Karai and I that if we ever found them, talked to them, sighted them, _whatever..._ We tell him immediately. His vendetta against them was his pure obsession. But for what? Alright, they're not human, you could take them in for science and testing blah, blah, blah, etc. But I must admit that Father had it coming. He has the entire city under his manipulative spell. Everyone thinks he's the good guy. These turtles have been stopping his plans for years.

Why do they care what happens to the Shredders daughter? They probably want information. _Yes. _

"Why do you care?" I asked. "Why do you want to know?"

"Just answer the damn question." Raph snarled. He has his arms crossed, leaning against the wall next to Mikey. His icy glare had been rested on me the whole time.

I let out a light, humorless chuckle. "Calm down tiger. It's not everyday I'm questioned by _the_ turtles."

"So you know who we are?" Leo asked.

I nodded. "You're on the top of my fathers hit list." I glanced at Raph. "And to answer your question... I left home."

"You mean ran away." Mikey gave in, giving me a 'duh' expression.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Same thing." I cracked my neck, wincing slightly from my cuts before continuing. "My father- or as you would know him as Oroku Saki, has been training me and my sister ever since we were born. He wants us to take over his empire someday. He's shown of many of his plans for the city, and I don't agree with them. Putting innocent lives at risk, it's not what I want. So I left."

Leo nodded, seeming to understand what I meant.

The purple banded turtle, who I was guessing was Donnie since Mikey had whispered his name earlier, took a step toward me. "What happened?" He tapped his cheek, gesturing to my wound.

I let my fingers trace the three lines that ran down my neck, the blood was almost done drying up. "Punishments for making mistakes during combat training or not following an order are... quite severe."

Donnie looked away, letting out a long breath. I turned my head back to Raph.

"Good enough explanation for ya?" I let the sarcasm roll off my tongue. I was sick of that glare he kept on me.

Raph huffed and looked away. His eyes tinged with small specks of sympathy for half a second.

Leo didn't say anything but he snapped his three fingered hand and gestured for a huddle with his brothers. I watched them huddle in the corner of the room and whisper to each other.

I rolled my eyes and ran my fingers across my cuts again. I don't even know what it looks like, I never got the chance to look at it in a mirror before I left. I had just put some clothes and personal belongings in a duffel bag after Father had cut me. My mind wandered to the little boy Karai ordered my to kill. The reason I was left with my new scars.

_**Flashback: **_

_"Kill him Elena." Karai pushed me towards the little boy. Two Foot ninjas held his arms as he stared at me with his big blue eyes, wide and terrified. _

_I've done a lot of bullshit things in my life but this, I don't do this. Killing innocents, especially children. He couldn't have been more than six. _

_I shook my head and turned back around, facing my sister. "No." _

_"You're weak." She sneered, pushing me out of her way. She didn't hesitate to plunge a knife into the boys stomach. _

_There wasn't anything I could do to help the boy. I stayed facing the other way, closing my eyes and grimacing when I heard the boys throat gurgle. I heard a soft thud on the ground and I heard Karai let out a sigh. She walked past me, hitting her shoulder with mine. _

_"That wasn't so hard, now was it?"_

* * *

><p><em>"Father, he was a child! What could he have done?" I couldn't help but raise my voice. Two guards held my arms, forcing my back against the wall of his chambers. <em>

_Saki slipped on his glove. Three glistening steel class were attached the the leather. _

_"He could have exposed what you were doing tonight. He saw what you were doing. Our plans cannot be distinguished by a mere child." He stepped in front me, leaving his face inches from mine. "I will not have a coward for a daughter." _

_I curled my lip, saying each word slowly. "I would rather be a coward, than a murderer." _

_My father lifted his hand and dragged the claws down my flesh. I groaned in pain. I couldn't let myself scream. I wouldn't let his punishment satisfy him by doing so. I locked my jaw in place and gritted my teeth. _

_Finally the pain subsided. The guards let go of my arms and I fell to the floor. Letting the blood slid down my skin. I looked up, watching Father walk away and stop in front of Karai, who had been standing in the doorway, watching. She shook we head at me and followed Father as he left the room. _

_**End Flashback:**_

"Elena."

The sound of my name ended my train of thoughts. I dropped my hand off my cuts and looked up. The four turtles had ungrouped and stood in a line a few feet away from me. Leo was stepped forward slightly.

"Elena, we want you to come with us. You're not-"

I held my hand up, shaking my head once. "No."

"You're in danger. You can't run forever. When he finds you…"

I stood up, stepping around the chair and walking up to the blue banded turtle. "And so are you. I will not put your family in more danger than it already is. I will not be the cause of your family's capture and termination."

I watched Leo's shoulders move up and down in a single, heaving motion as he took a deep breath. He glanced at his brothers, who all nodded slightly except for Raphael, who was looking away in disgust.

"That's a risk... we are going to take."

* * *

><p>"Whatta we doin' Leo?" I heard Raph ask. His voice echoed from the sewer tunnel, morphing with the sound of the water dripping from the ceiling and soft stream rushing down the middle of the tunnel.<p>

They wanted me blindfolded, just in case. I'm not going to argue just because I completely understand why they wouldn't want me to know the location of their home. Or as they called it, "The Lair." Donnie has kept his hand on my shoulder to guide me around obstacles.

"You know what we're doing Raph." Came Leo's simple reply. His tone sounded a tiny bit annoyed. I could almost imagine him rolling those bright blue eyes he has.

"No Leo. I don't think ya do. We're takin' the Shredders daughter to our home and everyone seems to be completely okay with it!" He gave back, voice raising angrily.

"Wow, you guys had this argument almost a whole fifteen minutes ago!" Mikey's sarcastic and rather annoyed reply came.

There was a smack. "Shut up Mikey."

I felt another drop of weight pull my shoulders down. To be referred to just as the Shredders daughter was burdensome. My fathers actions automatically made me just as foil as him. Donnie must have felt my discomfort as he squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.

"Raph, you were there when we decided this."

I felt Donnie stop me. "We're here." He whispered to me. He lifted his hand off my shoulder and soon, I heard bricks moving. A door opening. He pulled the blindfold off my face and gently pushed me inside the doorway.

Their home was quite large. A landing led to a few rooms to the right of the door. A large flight of stairs to the first level where the living room, kitchen and many other closed off rooms. It definitely wasn't what I expected but I thought it was cozy. It even had a comforting smell. It felt like a real home.

Donnie led me down the stairs and pointed me to a room right behind the stairs. "If you don't mind, I would really like to clean up those cuts for you. That's my lab. I'll be in there in a moment."

"I'll come with you." Mikey suggested, not really waiting for an answer.

Donnie's lab was rather incredible. Tables were covered with neatly stacked papers and scattered parts to some kind of technology. Whether it was a compute or a TV, I didn't know. Bookshelves were completely filled with large textbooks, atlases, dictionaries and just regular books. There was a few different computer screens on one of the tables, all showing some encryption codes on the screen. The other side of the room looked like an infirmary. A couple army cots were surrounded by cupboards of medical supplies. Mikey led me one of the cots and gestured for me to sit on it. I hauled my backpack off my shoulders and dropped it next to the bed.

"Donnies lab huh?"

Mikey nodded, chuckling. "He's our doctor when we screw up on patrol or something. He knows how to do basically everything a doctor can do." He pointed to the bookshelves. "He's an inventor, a tinkerer and a reasonable 'Mister Fix It'. He enjoys filling his head with knowledge. Me and Raph say he's a brainiac from another world."

"And what would you guys do without me?" Donnie had entered the room with a lazy smile spread on his face. "I make up for the brains that you lack Mikey."

Mikey frowned and let a small pout tug at his lips. "Hey."

I breathed a small smile as Donnie seated himself on a rolling chair in front of me after grabbing some a small first aid box. He inspected the cuts across my skin, gently tracing one with the delicate touch of his leathery finger.

"These are pretty deep. They'll need stitches."

I sighed. _Great._

Donnie noted my reaction to the thought of having stitches. He opened up the first aid kit and held up what looked like a skinny, see-through sticker.

"_But, _they're pretty neat and clean. I can put these over them. They act like a stitch, just easier to apply and remove. And, It saves some pain."

I nodded, relieved that I wouldn't be getting a needle and thread treatment. "I'm not a fan of stitches."

"I'm not really a fan of having to stick up anyone either." He replied as he got off the chair and and walked over to a sink in the corner of the room and dampened a small rag. As he got to work; cleaning the dry blood around the wound, Mikey seated himself on another chair and leaned his elbows on the table. "Have you ever had stitches before?"

I didn't nod since I wanted to keep somewhat still for Donnie. "Yes. I've had to stitch myself up multiple times after training."

"Training?" Donnie asked, stopping for a moment. "You've had to stitching yourself up after training?"

Before I could reply, a new voice entered the room. One I hadn't heard before. "Your injuries during your training sessions were by your fathers hand, am I correct?"

Leo and Raph had entered the lab along with another figure. A rat. He was shorter, and wore long red robes accompanied by a walking stick. He slowly walked up in front of me. Donnie rolled his chair back slightly.

The rat gazed at my cuts. I could see a flash of agony in his eyes, like he felt what I had felt. He didn't say anything about it although. "It has been a long time Elena."

I scrunched my brow slightly. I could see the turtle brothers exchanged confused glances as well. _Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know what's going on._

"Have we... Met?" I asked.

He took a few steps back. "You wouldn't remember because you were only an infant. In fact, you were barely a month a old. I used to be friends with your father. Until he created a mutagen that changed me into what you see me as now."

"So you used to be human?" I remember my father angrily speaking about an old comrade he once knew. Could it really be this rat?

He nodded. "Yes, I was. Oroku Saki created the mutagen for other purposes. He wanted to infect New York, changing millions of lives. Then with a cure, he would pretend to save those lives. He wanted the fame and the fortune. When I discovered his plans, I fled with the canister of mutagen. I had taken refuge in the sewer when I had accidently smashed the canister, releasing the fluid in it. It covered myself and four baby turtles that I had come across." He gestured to the turtles. "This is what we have become."

"So... You must be Hamato Splinter? I overheard my father talking about you and the turtles many times." I reflected on the many conversations he had with me.

The rat smiled, looking fairly impressed. "Yes. I am Splinter."

I nodded slowly. _What am I doing? I shouldn't be here._

I glanced at Leo. "So why did you want me here?"

Leo and Splinter exchanged a long look. It was Splinter who answered. "After I discovered Sakis plans, I knew he would dispose his corruptness onto his two children. I tried to convince Karai to escape with me. She was only five; yet, darkness was already consuming her. Even at her young age, she was just as power hungry as her father. You on the other hand were still only an infant. But I did not see darkness in your future. I believed that someday, you would leave you family because you would not want to live that life."

I indifferently tilted my head. "How could you have guessed that?"

"He's a Jedi." Mikey stated, with a cheesy grin on his face.

"Mikey." Raph growled. He had his shell leaned up against the wall with his arms crossed. After hearing what Splinter had to say to me, he no longer had a glare on his face when he looked at me anymore. In fact, all of the turtle brothers looked a little surprised. Like they didn't know anything about it.

"When my sons had their first encounter with Karai almost five years ago, they said that they had noticed another girl who ran away from the battle." Splinter continued. "When they described her to me, she sounded like you. The young girl I was forced to leave behind. I told them to keep an eye on you and to bring you here if you decided to leave like I had predicted."

I remember that fight. "I was only twelve when I ran from that battle. Karai ordered me to leave because we were finishing a job that father had given us. She wanted me to finish it while she and the Foot dealt with the attackers. Which happened to be you guys."

"What was the job?" Leo asked in a dark tone. His eyes narrowed slightly.

"Saki made an enemy of a man from another business. Karai and I were supposed to kill him. Stage it like an accident." I explained, keeping an even tone.

"And did you kill him?"

I shook my head, looking at the ground for a moment. "No. I couldn't. He was only my fathers enemy because he wouldn't become shipping partners with him. I told him what I was a supposed to be doing and he said that he was sorry for me. Then he killed himself. Jumped off the balcony of his apartment and fell seven stories. Karai thinks I finished the job."

"Damn." Raph muttered, staring at the ground.

Leo's narrowed eyes softened completely.

I breathed, looking back at Splinter. "I can't stay here. I cannot allow your family to become a bigger target than it already is because if me."

Splinter gave me a grateful smile but shook his head. "I am thankful for your weariness but I would insist that you stay here."

I looked straight into his deep brown eyes. "I will not be the cause of another family's termination Hamato Splinter."

Splinter hesitated after that one. I didn't like talking about it but I needed him to understand that his family was important and I couldn't let them perish. I wouldn't want that added weight on my shoulders. I kept my gaze on Splinter but I could see out of the corner of my eyes, the turtles exchanging worried glances between each other.

"I cannot force you to stay here against your will Elena. But please, they do not know you are here. You will be safe with us." Splinter had a pleading glint in his eyes.

He wasn't going to give up that easily. That glint said something else. He didn't want me to leave. He wanted me to be safe. But he was right; Karai and my father don't know where I am. I was safe. F_or now_.

I let out a deep sigh. "I can't hide forever. I have to face him and my sister eventually."

"We understand." Leo answered. "And we'll help you. The Shredder and us have a long history together. He needs to be taken out."

I nodded slowly, with a sad frown. "I know he does."

Splinter smiled warmly, gently taking my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Donatello will show you to the guest bedroom after you are done in here." He paused before letting go. "It is good to see you again."

I smiled. "Thank you."

Splinter left, leaving me alone with the turtles again. Donnie picked up where he left off. Cleaning my wound and applying the small stitch stickers. He still had a ways to go, knowing he was on the first cut.

"So what really happened?" Mikey asked. He was still sitting in the chair with his elbows leaning on the table. "Why were you punished?"

"Elena's tired and has had a pretty rough day. Let's leave Donnie to finishing up so she can go to bed. We can talk to her about it in the morning." Leo said, waving to the door.

Mikey moaned and got up. He gave me a small wave before leaving. Raph didn't say anything, he just gave me a small nod and followed.

I smiled gratefully at Leo. _Thank you._ I mouthed.

He returned a small smile a single nod of the head before leaving the room.

It took Donnie another two hours to carefully apply the stickers across my cuts. His concentration was hard to ignore.

"I can tell you've done this before." I started, smiling slightly.

Donnie shrugged, chuckling. "My brothers, especially Raph, manage to get more scrapes and cuts than they give. Playing doctor has become a daily thing in this household. But, I sometimes enjoy it." He clapped his hands together as he applied that last sticker to my face. "All done."

I slowly slid off the cot, scooping up my backpack that I had left on the ground. "Thanks Don."

He nodded and gestured for me to follow him out of the lab. It was dark in the living room.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, following Donnie up the stairs.

"In bed probably. It's close to one AM."

_It's that late already?_

He led me to the last room at the end of the hallway. It was smaller, but cozy enough. It had a single bed with a small closet, and a desk with a mirror. Perfect.

I turned back to the doorway. "Thanks again Donnie. I appreciate it."

He nodded with a warm smile. m. I'll see you in the morning Elena."

I gently sat my backpack next to the bed. I wasn't really in the mood to change my clothes. Gross I know, but I wasn't grimy or anything. I changed before I left Foot Headquarters. My old home.

I walked over to the desk, tracing the frame of the mirror with my pointer finger. I hadn't seen my cuts yet. I looked like I had been attacked by a tiger. Hell, I looked like Frankenstein with the stickers that were over the cuts. I lifted my hand and let my fingers trace over the bumpy lines.

"Hideous." I muttered, sighing deeply.

"I wouldn't call you that."

The voice made me jump slightly. I snapped around to see Leo leaning his shoulder against the frame of the doorway.

"Leo. You scared me." I breathed.

"Ninja." He replied taking a step in the room. "I just came to see if you were settling in alright."

I glanced at the small alarm clock on the nightstand, raising an eyebrow. "At one in the morning?"

He shrugged. "I worry."

I smirked. "Well, don't be. I'm fine." I put my backpack on the ground and sat on the bed, leaning

Leo cocked a brow, disbelieving. "Really? Then what did you just call yourself."

My smirk faded slowly. I avoided his eyes and started to pull off my boots. Why did he have to hear me say that? _Why why why._ I felt like a complete moron.

"Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop Leonardo?"

I heard him sigh and walk over to the bed. He sat down next to me and tilted my chin up with his fingers, forcing me to look at him. I couldn't look away from his inevitable stare.

"You are _not _hideous. The only thing I see that's remotely close to hideous, is what your father has put you through. I don't blame you for anything that he, or Karai have made you do. You're a fighter. A survivor. It's just written on your body." He kept his tone even, but it was meaningful.

Did he really mean that?

"I... Thank you." I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. My whole life, everything has been blamed on me. When something goes wrong, when a plan doesn't go the way someone else plans. It's always on me. And I'm severely punished for it.

_You're a fighter._

_A survivor._

"Of course." He smiled softly and let go of my chin, leaving without another word.

* * *

><p>As soon as Leo walked out of the room, he let out a deep breath. <em>What was that all about?<em>

He didn't know what had made him do that. It just hurt him to see her feel that way about herself. He recognized the heavy depression when he looked into her eyes. A lingering dullness clouded them. She acted like she was fine but in reality, she looked lost. The frown that permanently sat on her face looked completely fake when she tried to look grateful for his family's generosity. She seemed to be worn down and tired. There had been a light shade of darkness that sat underneath her eyes.

It was her father that had created that scar across her face and she didn't think of it as being anyones but her fault. It... _Enraged _him. What she had told didn't even create a dent in what the Shredder may have put her through, and that didn't include what events Karai may have also thrown at her.

He just couldn't understand why anyone had to be forced into a life such as the one Elena has.


	2. Chapter 2

**So how is it so far? **

**Sorry for late updates. I'm currently working not two other stories as well so don't fret!**

**Chapter 2**

* * *

><p>I'm a light sleeper. And I have every reason to be.<p>

Father had always been so keen on making sure I was _always _ready. Forcing me out of bed in the AM as a training exercise. Now it was just out of habit that I woke up periodically throughout the night.

But since this wasn't my home I was sleeping in, I managed to force myself to stay in my bed until almost six AM.

_That's the best I'm gonna do._

I slipped on the second pair of black skinny jeans I owned and a faded red shirt. I felt a bit exposed with the purple bruises and old scars covering my showing skin but I didn't have much of a choice. I was low on clothes and although I had a pair of shorts, I didn't feel comfortable wearing them in front of others. When I ran away, I never would have thought I would be hiding away with anyone.

I silently left my room and headed downstairs to the living room with a slight limp in my step. I assumed I was the only up since it was so quiet. And perhaps since it was so early. The living room was trashed. Games, movies, comic books and boxes of pizza were scattered everywhere in front of the large TV screen. The kitchen was almost the same. Full of dirty dishes and yet again, more pizza boxes.

There was a door off the living room that was slightly open. My curiosity got the better of me and I opened the door. The lights automatically turned on to reveal a dojo. The walls were filled with different sorts of ninjutsu weapons. A weightlifting set was stashed in the back corner and targets were set up on one of the walls.

I glanced back over my shoulder to make sure no one was watching as I walked over to a wall that was assorted with different types of throwing knives. I was most familiar with the kunai and the shruiken. I was most specialized in them. Karai had taught me how to them when I was younger. Unfortunately, I left them behind when I ran away for home.

I slowly lifted the hilt of one of the kunais. They felt almost the same as my old ones, which made me smile. I glanced over my shoulder at the small target on the other side of the room, smiling I kept my back to it as I took a step to the side and threw the kunai. It sailed and hit the bullseye.

It was almost like a big sigh of relief. Practicing my aim and training was what I did best and what I spent most of my time doing. It kept me away from reality. I grabbed a few more of the kunais and was eventually spinning around the room, hitting each target straight in the bullseye.

"You're good."

I spun around to see Leonardo at the door, leaning his shoulder against the frame of the door. "Leo. Oh uh... I probably shouldn't be in here."

He shrugged, his bright turquoise eyes staring at the targets on the wall with the kunais blades in their centers.

"This room is open to almost anybody. My brothers and I train in here in the morning. I'm usually first up but it looks like you beat me."

He firmly grasped a hilt of one of the remaining kunais on the wall and spun. The knife flew from his hand and landed on the edge of the target. A little more to the right and it would have hit the wall.

"Smooth." I remarked, letting a small smirk grow on my face.

Leo brow scrunched in frustration and a ting of slight embarrassment. "I guess I haven't worked on this for awhile."

Chuckling, I grabbed the last two kunais off the wall, placing one into his hands and turned his body away from the target before standing shoulder to shoulder with him.

"Take a deep breath before you turn around and don't exhale until after you've released the knife." I instructed firmly. "And don't just release. Have your eyes locked into the target before you release the knife."

I demonstrated, hitting a direct bullseye. Leo lightly gasped in awe before attempting. The knife landed on the blue ring that surrounded the red bullseye. I laughed when he turned, his eyes glowing with excitement. He spent the next hour using the kunais; intently listening to my tips and instructions. He followed every movement I made as I demonstrated various techniques. He seemed fascinated. His big bright turquoise eyes were like crystals in their sockets as they kept a concentrated gaze on her. It was exceptionally attractive.

"Hey guys." Michelangelo's voice dawned my attention. He yawned as he entered the dojo with a pair of nunchucks in his hands.

"Morning Mikey." I gave him a small wave.

"After nineteen years of morning training, you still seem to have the hardest time waking up little brother." Leo chuckled, pulling the kunais out of the wooden target on the other side of the room.

Mikey grinned sleepily. "I can't help it. We were up late last night!"

"We weren't up nearly as long as we usually are." Donatello strolled in the dojo behind him with Raphael. "Patrols usually have us out until three or four in the morning. You know that."

The orange banded turtle shrugged in reply with another yawn escaping from his mouth.

Leo handed me two of the kunais he had collected. "Show me one more time."

I nodded, demonstrating the motions slowly. He followed but still seemed to release the the knife too soon, causing it go off the target. Leo's frustration grew. I could feel it vibrating off of him. And more so after Raph snorted.

"Aw, come on Fearless. You in preschool again?" He crossed his arms.

Leo rolled his eyes in irritation, tossing him a knife. "Then you try if your so cocky Hothead."

The tension between the two brothers was rather unsettling. They didn't seem to be joking around at all. As Raph smugly tried to replicate what I had shown Leo, his knife didn't even hit the target. Hell, it wasn't even within range of the target. _Ouch._

Leo didn't make a remark of it, but there was a glint of success that sparked in his eyes. Raph glowered first at him, then at me.

"How'd ya do it?" He asked, more demanding than asking.

I breathed once as I crossed the room to retrieve both kunais. "You're both just flinging it without looking at your target. Think of it like you'll be throwing it at someone is holding an innocent in front of them. You can't just throw the knife, or you could possibly hit the victim," I handed a kunai to both brothers and faced them away from the target. "Your head should be the first to spin around. Make eye contact with the target before releasing the knife."

I demonstrated in slow motion as I spoke. Both brothers nodded, seeming to understand what I meant. Well, Leo did. Raph didn't. But for some reason, that didn't really surprise me. But both followed, and both hit the target. Each knife hit the ring just next to the bullseye.

"Damn," Raph let a simpler smirk grow on his face. "Not too shabby huh?"

I nodded, my lip curling into a tiny smile. "Not too shabby."

"Is that what you usually use for combat?" Donnie asked.

I bobbed my head to the side. "Sort of. I use them quite often but I usually had a tantō."

"Ain't ya supposed to have two of'em?" Raph asked, raising a brow.

Tantōs were a shorter type of sword. Perhaps a third of the size of a katana with a straight blade; It had no curve like the katana. Most tantō weilders used the weapon in a pair.

"I did at one time. But one of the blades snapped during a job and I was... Um... I just didn't have it replaced." I turned around quickly.

Yes, it snapped during a job. After which I was severely punished for. Rule was that if I lost or damaged my weapons, I would never get a replacement.

"I see..." Donnie squinted his eyes behind his purple mask. I could tell he wanted me to elaborate but he didn't open his mouth to do so.

Leo clapped his hands together. "Alright. Sparring starts now, we'll skip katas for today and spend a couple extra hours on the surface during patrol is everyone's okay with that. There's been extra Foot activity that needs to be checked up," He glanced at me. "Sorry."

I held a hand up, shrugging. "Don't be."

He nodded. "Would you like to spar?"

I considered this. Do I want to spar? They probably did it differently from how I did sparring.

I timidly watched as Mikey and Raph began their own sparring match. They definitely did it differently. Mine of course, we're life and death situated while these guys hit but didn't go for a death strike.

"Uh... No. I don't think that's a good idea." I said, biting my lip.

Leo opened his mouth to object but Donnie laid a hand on his shoudler, giving me a sympathetic smile. Donnie seemed to be catching on the quickest of the four turtles that my course of training was a hell of a lot more different and definitely more dangerous than their way.

"That's fine. You're free to do what you want here."

"I would like to spar with Elena, if that is alright with her." Splinters voice scared me. He stood behind me with both hands on his walking stick. "I'm sorry to startle you my dear."

I breathed a small smile. "It's okay. And, like I said, I don't think that's a good idea."

Splinter nodded his head to the far side of the dojo. "I may be an old rat, but I can assure you I will be fine."

He turned without giving me a chance to reply or object. I side glanced at Leo and Donnie, who were both nodding their heads encouragingly for me.

I sighed and followed. The rat was determined I'll give him that. As I followed him to the last set of mats, I noted that Mikey and Raph had stopped sparring. They murmered something to Leo who replied in a low voice.

Splinter set his walking stick aside and faced me. "I want you to spar like you always have. No mercy."

_Uh, what?_

"Splinter, I don't think that-"

"I want to see what you know. Do not be afraid." There was a glint of determination in his eyes.

I wasn't afraid. Is that what he thought? Well, I'll show him.

He gave me a slight bow which I was courtesous enough to return before I lunged with an tightened fist.

_Rule one. Always try to catch your opponent off guard._

Splinter was definitely caught off guard. He barely dodged out of the way from my coming attack, moving behind me. His reflexes were good.

_Rule two. Never give your opponent time to recover. _

With that in mind, I didn't hesitate for a split second to throw my leg up in a thrusting back kick. Splinter was also caught off guard with that one. My foot hit his chest. But, he recovered quicker than I thought he would. He quickly shook his head before jumping toward me with a punch.

Block after block, I started backing up to the edge of the mat. Something I've been trained not to do.

That's when something snapped. All I saw was my father in front of me, swinging his fist that was protected by his signature three-clawed glove. Burning eyes and a deep frown. One that said I was a failure. That I was dead meat.

And before I knew it. I was defeated. My back was slammed onto the ground and it was Splinter who stood over me. Not my father.

"You are a talented fighter Elena. Very skill indeed." He said, extending a hand and lifting me to my feet. "But I must say, your training with your father has deeply shaken you and it's driven itself so deep in your core that you take a simple sparring match as a life and death situation."

I didn't know how to answer. Was that how I really fought? I just solemnly nodded my head.

Splinter let a small smile escape from his lips. "Do not be discouraged my dear. It will take time."

I nodded again, returning the smile. Although I wasn't sure how fake it looked. To my right, the four turtles were still watching. I felt uncomfortable underneath their observant gazes. Especially Raphael's. He held the same glower he had on me the night before. Splinter seemed to catch onto that.

"Supāringu o kaishi." He told them. _Begin sparring. _

The turtles immediately seperated into two groups and began their matches. Splinter picked up his walking stick and looked back at me.

"The weapons on the wall are free for you to use for your katas, if that is how you wish to train. If not, you may leave and find something else to do. As Donatello said, you are free to do what you want here."

I bowed slightly. "Thank you. If it is alright with you, I would like to go meditate."

He nodded, a little eager at the thought that I did such an activity. "Of course. My chambers are free as well for that in particular."

"Thanks." I shot him a quick, grateful smile before slipping out of the dojo, avoiding eye contact with the turtles.

I remembered Splinter retreating to his chambers the night before. I doorway that was next to the dojo. Inside, was a dark room lined with dozens of candles. Japanese scrolls and paintings were hung on the wall. Insence permeated the air strongly. It was rather relaxing. I could feel comfort begin to flow through me as I kneeled down.

Meditation was one of the activities I performed on a daily basis. It usually helped me clear my mind of all the shitty things that had recently happened. It was an escape from my reality. Karai had always thought It was silly and completely idiotic even when Father did it. To her, the only way to clear your mind was to go out into the city and do what's wrong. To her, killing the innocents was right. That she was meant to spare the city of imbeciles like them.

It was heartbreaking to see your sister down such a horrific path. And to think that I was always forced by her side to perform the events she wants.

I couldn't clear my mind this time. This time, all there was, was darkness.

And I just couldn't escape from it, not even here.

* * *

><p>"So Don, what do you think?" Leo asked with his signature arms crossed stance.<p>

All four turtles and Splinter were cooped up in Donnie's lab later that night after Elena had retreated to her room to 'sleep'. They had spent their day showing her around the lair after training that morning. She seemed a little on edge but Mikey and her watched several movies and she spent a part of the evening with Donnie as he checked up on her cuts, replacing some of the stickers.

"Well. The amount of bruises and cuts on her skin says she's abused on a daily baises." He started.

"She barely eats anythin'." Raph cut in, narrowing his eyes. All three meals they had eaten, she didn't even have a dozens spoonfuls.

Donnie nodded. "Right. And she doesn't need to eat much to fill her stomach. That being said, it probably means she was hardly fed back at home so her stomach had to adjust to the minimal amount of food she has been given. And watching how slowly she eats, it's like she makes sure she savors every single bite like it's her last."

Mikey clutched his stomach. "I don't know what I would do if I couldn't eat a lot."

"Well, we would probably have food left over if you didn't eat a lot." Raph scoffed. "I don't know how many times I've gone looking for food and it's all gone because of your appetite."

Mikey smirked. "Well we wouldn't want you getting too soft now would we?"

"We're getting off topic." Leo stated, putting the conversation to an end. He turned back to Donnie. "She barely sleeps. I caught her up early this morning at around six. And I know she didn't fall asleep until around three. She kept waking up every half hour. I checked on her periodically.

"That's not creepy at all." Mikey scrunched his brow at the eldest.

"I asked Leonardo to keep an eye on her last night." Splinter said. "Although I see good in her, I wanted to be sure that she wasn't revealing us to the enemy."

Donnie nodded and turned back to Leo. "Did you talk to her about that?"

He nodded. "When I checked on her meditating this morning. I didn't press it on her too much though. She just said she doesn't sleep much."

"Under that roof, I doubt she gets more than a few hours rest. She's exhausted and she hardly notices anymore." Donnie sighed, tapping his three fingers on the desk in front of him.

"I still don't know about this. Keepin' the daughter of the Shredder here? In our home?" Raph grunted, glancing from Leo to Splinter.

Raph personally didn't mind Elena. Which suprised him since he was usually the one to get worked up about situations like this. It had calmed him down hearing Splinters background story with Elena as a part of it. And he felt a pang of sorry for the girl. Those awful cuts on her face, how she barely eats or sleeps. He couldn't blame her. But he wanted to keep an eye on her anyway. Better safe than sorry.

"Like I said. I'll keep an eye on her. She'll stay in the lair for now until we figure out what to do and when she decides how she wants to deal with the Shredder." Leo said, glancing at Splinter for approval.

"She has walked through more fire than we can imagine. I believe she has turned her back completely on her father and we do not have to worry about her giving our home away." Splinter rubbed his thumb over his walking stick. "I worry though. Especially during our sparring session this morning. She shares the same determination as her father. Frustration comes easily and it makes her nth stronger and fairly dangerous."

"She a skilled fighter. Should we worry?" Leo asked.

"We will see but I do not fear she will do bad."

Leo bowed his head slightly. "Hai Sensei."

* * *

><p>The steamy bathroom felt like a sauna. And I welcomed the heat.<p>

I had never been able to look at myself for very long. In terms of keeping myself clean and refreshed, it wasn't good. I was always covered in sweat, grime or blood after patrols and training sessions and they were so constant that I never had the time to shower. I would be so exhausted anyway that I wouldn't have been able to anyway. I always managed to get a quick five iminute shower in at least every three days. Just enough to clean my skin and shampoo my hair. I hated the feeling of being dirty but after so many years, I've gotten used to it. But now that I've had the time to deeply wash the grime and dry blood off my skin and scrub my hair with shampoo and conditioner, I don't want to step out of the bathroom.

I used the towel I was provided to dry my skin and my hair before slipping on my third and last set of clothes I had packed. Another pair of shorts and black t shirt. I gathered up my dirty clothes and stepped out of the bathroom, Mikey had shown me earlier where Donnie had set up a washer and dryer years ago. Apparently the turtles were friends with two humans named April O'Neal and Casey Jones- they had stayed with them when their old home had been burned to the ground by the Foot.

Karai did that. I remember she wanted me to stand by as she and the small army of ninjas burned that apartment complex to the ground. I watched the smoke rise into the night sky from the rooftops, not knowing why she did it. But now that I know, I felt more guilt eat away at my gut. The way Mikey spoke about April and Casey- told me that they were extremely close with them.

_And the weight on my shoulders get heavier. _

After throwing my dirty clothes in the washer, I stepped back into the living room. It was almost eight at night but I didn't see anyone. It was quiet in the lair.

I was about to call out- until I heard the door to Donnie's lab slid open. Splinter steadily made his way to me with a warm smile plastered across his face.

"How are you feeling Elena?"

I returned the smile. "_Much _better. Thank you."

He nodded, turning toward his chambers without another word- leaving me alone again. I could hear the faint voices of the turtles in Donnie's lab. If they were all cooped up in there, It was either an important matter or it was about me. I wouldn't consider myself important.

Well ok. I would be an important _topic _as what they would want to do with me and the safety concern of their family. But it's not because I'm important. I never have been.

As curious as I was to hear what they were saying, I turned away from the lab and wandered back up to my room, shutting the door and seating myself on the bed.

And out of habit, I fell asleep with my back leaning against the wall rather than laying on the mattress.


	3. Chapter 3

**Once again, sorry for late updates! But I thank you all for your patience! School and hockey is crazy along with trying to write my other Ninja Turtle fic, **_**Little Sister.**_

**Reviews are wonderful!**

**Chapter 3**

* * *

><p>Two weeks go by and Leo noticed that Elena slowly started to look like she enjoyed the lair. At least during the day she did. When she was supposed to be sleeping, she was more on edge. Splinter had let her take a few of the shurikens to keep for own weapon use as he watched her train with them. Now, she always had one in her hand when she fell asleep. It was like she was too scared to fall asleep without some sort of self defense if the Shredder or Karai would magically walk through the doorway.<p>

Mikey had gotten her eating habits to be slightly better. She could fully eat two slices of pizza now. Yes, it was almost the only thing she would eat until the next day, but progress is progress. Her wounds were healing up nicely, courtesy of Doctor Donatello, but she still looked at herself like she was a monster. The long cuts on her face all the way down to her shoulder were permanently engraved on her skin. They weren't pretty.

The only thing that hadn't made much progress was her training. Splinter didn't push her much anymore. He thought that maybe in time, she would heal from her old training sessions. She worked with weapons on her own as Leo and his brothers sparred. Sometimes she would watch as they sparred but she never openly wanted to join. Leo found this saddening. She looked as though she wanted to join, but was too scared to get someone hurt.

_I want her to join. _He thought to himself. _I'll ask Sensei if I could train with her. Perhaps I can help her heal..._

Not now. But he will. Training was over for the day. In fact, it was getting late in the afternoon. Mikey, Raph and Elena put in a scary movie. Something called Sinister. Leo had never herd of it, but by Mikey's squeals and even Raph's surprised yells, it must have been pretty frightening. Leo was never a scary movie kind of turtle but with Donnie in the lab and Splinter meditating. He felt like being apart of something entertaining.

Jade was sitting in the middle of the couch with her elbows resting on her knees and her head rested in her palms. Raph lounged next to her while Mikey sat on Donnies recliner chair with a pillow in his hands, covering half his eyes.

"He's gonna go up to the attic ain't he?" Raph muttered. Leo was amused with how he began to stiffen as the main character as the main character began to slowly approach a pull down ladder that sounded as though a projection screen was playing in the attic space.

"Of course he is! That's what's making it so scary!" Mikey said as he pulled the pillow closer to his plastron.

Elena didn't say anything, but she noticed Leo standing by the couch, watching the screen intently. Leo watched as she smiled softly and patted the cushion next to her. He hesitated, but breathed and slowly succumbed into the cushion, keeping his eyes on the screen.

He _really _wasn't into horror movies

He saw Elena smirk in the corner of his eyes.

"What?" He asked, his brows scrunching together.

"Nothing." She replied, covering her mouth with her hands.

The man on the screen began to climb the pull down ladder, the music began to speed up along with Leo's heartbeat. As soon as the man reached the top of the steps, there was a projector screen with a small group of children sitting in front of it.

And then a face jumped in front of the screen.

Mikey screeched and dug his face into his pillow as Raph jumped slightly. Leo yelped, making Elena laughs she was the only one who wasn't affected by the climatic scene in the movie.

"How did that not scare you Elena?" Mikey whispered, horrified that Elena was chuckling at them.

She shrugged. "I'm sorry you guys. This movie just isn't scary though."

"But you said you've never seen a movie before! How could you know a scary movie is scary if you've never seen one!" Mikey was talking so fast, the words spilling over his tounge as he avoided looking at the screen.

She winked. "Fearless."

Leo knew that deep down, she was the opposite of fearless. But it seemed to convince Mikey. Almost anything convinced him.

"I wish I was like that." He muttered.

Raph smirked at Elena, glancing at Leo. "Maybe you should take our own Fearless's name. I saw him jump like a girl over there."

Leo glared at him. He hated that nickname. "I'm sure I saw you jump a little too Raphael."

"Why do you call him Fearless?" Elena asked, keeping her attention on Raph.

"He acts like it, ever since Splinter made him our 'leader'. Nothin' scares our Leonardo, is there?" Raph kept a hard gaze on the eldest brother.

"You and both know that's not true. Stop calling me that." Leo said, his teeth gritting.

Raph shrugged, as if he could care less. "Whatever, _Oh Fearless One._"

* * *

><p>Raphael and Leonardo's relationship bothered me immensely. I instantly regretted asking why Leo was called 'Fearless' and I made a mental note never to stay that word in front of Raphael. It was supposed to be an act of pure sarcasm but I didn't think it would really mean anything, not in this household. I could feel Leo's discomfort with the name every time he was called that. I've heard it plenty of times.<p>

"Sorry I asked." I mumbled, returning my attention to the movie.

Mikey glanced at me, rolling his eyes slightly at his brothers. I almost returned the gesture. Being here for two weeks, the brothers bickered and spoke to each other in a dark tone often.

I felt Leo shift uncomfortably beside me. I thought I heard him mutter an apologetic 'sorry', but I wasn't sure. Raph just huffed as he usually did.

I wasn't really in the mood for the movie anymore, but thankfully, it was almost over. Another 20 minutes of silence between us except for the occasional yelp from Mikey or dramatic inhale from either Leo or Raph, the credits started rolling.

"That was _so _scary." Mikey threw the pillow on the ground and raced up to the Tv, turning it back onto cable television. The news was on.

"That movie was not scary!" I said, turning to Mikey. "Where did you find that movie?"

He pulled out the disk from the DVD player next to the TV. "It's Casey's. He watched it with April last week and said he almost pissed his pants."

"He probably did." Raph said in a short chuckle, readjusting himself on the sofa. "Jones is sucha pussy."

I hadn't met Casey and April yet but I knew Donnie had already told them about me. I would meet them eventually, but they hadn't come down to the lair for awhile since April's artifact retrieval business has been keeping them extremely busy. But I was kind of nervous to meet them. Knowing that it was my father's fault that their old apartment had burned down, I didn't know how they would react to me? Would they be uneasy and avoid me?

Probably. They had every right to. Besides, they would probably stare at my hideous cuts and freak out.

I leaned back on the sofa, lightly tracing the scars on my face. Bumpy. Jagged. Crusty. They bugged the hell out of me. The urge to scratch them was almost unbearable.

"Don't pick at those Elena. You'll make them worse than they already are." Donnie's voice startled me from my light trance. He had a brow raised at me from his recliner chair. I didn't remember him coming into the living room and sitting down, but he always managed to catch me messing with my wounds. It was freaking unbelievable.

"I wasn't picking at them." I muttered, squinting at him like he was crazy.

"Uh huh… Right. Then why do you keep touching them?" His lips curled into a tight smirk.

Donnie and I had become close in the past couple weeks. Kind of becoming my therapist, so to say. He knew about a lot of the shit I had done in my life while the rest of the family had no clue about it. We had our own inside jokes that nobody understood. We just seemed to get along the best. He even became a sort of teacher for me. Mathematics. Science. History. Anything medical. He could go on and on about it all. I liked listening and learning and he seemed to enjoy sharing his never ending knowledge with someone.

"I wasn't picking at them." My brows lowered, but held no dark intent. My lips curled into it's own smirk.

"Liar. I'm always watching you." His smirk started growing into a playful grin until Mikey butted in.

"That's kind of creepy."

Raph took the bait. "Ya Don. What all are ya watchin' 'Lena do then?"

Donnie looked taken back. "That is not what I meant"

I groaned at let my face fall into my hands. I felt Leo chuckle beside me at the scene in front of him as his three brothers began going back and forth . Mikey and Raph completely gained up on him. I could help but laugh into my palms. It was funny.

But I started to zone out of the conversation as I heard a familier name on the TV.

"_... Jack Hilloway…"_

I lifted my head, looking at the screen. I seemed to be the only one paying attention in the living room to the news report.

"_... Found on the floor in his department store, with his throat cut and a small note on his stomach. Police have yet to say what the note means but it's obvious to say it was meant as a warning."_

As a smiling picture of the victim was put on the screen, I felt my heart sank. I stood up from the couch, covering my mouth with my both my hands.

Short black hair and glasses, Jack Hilloway was a friend. I met him on a job that was meant to kill him but instead, I helped him. At the time, his name had been Sean Hartman and he was on the Foots hit list for failing to deliver some package form his own father. I never asked what the package was but to my father, it was of great importance.

I told him to cover himself up. To hide.

I visited him often. He knew everything about my life. Everything.

Along with the picture on the screen, was the note that was apparently laid on his stomach. Parchment paper with Japanese symbols written in some red ink. It looked like thick blood. Maybe it was.

あ 次

な は

た 誰

が が

リ知

タっ

ー て

ン い

を る

い 。

け

な

い

場

合

は

_If you don't return, you know who's next._

Yes. I knew who was next. If Karai found Jack alive, then she could certainly knew the other client I was supposed to kill was alive as well.

"That note is for you isn't it?" I heard Leo breath beside me. I didn't even notice he stood up.

I nodded slowly. "Yes."

"Who's next?"

I felt a hot tear run down my cheek, getting caught in one of the cuts on my face. But instead of crying, I felt anger. It bubbled in my veins so harshly that I wasn't sure if it was really me. I never got this angry before. I clenched my jaw, keeping my eyes on the picture of the note.

_Why did they have to find him? _This is my fault. Jack was dead because of me.

"Elena." Leo prompted.

"Another friend." I turned around quickly, heading for the stairs that led to the landing. I needed my weapons. "I need to warn him."

"You can't go out there! What if Karai finds you?" Leo called after me, catching up and grabbing my wrist.

I tried to pull away. "I was a fool Leonardo. I let Jack die. I won't be the cause of Riley's death as well."

I will let you go." Splinters voice came from the middle of the room. He leaned on his walking stick with a sad yet determined frown on his face. "You must help you friend."

Leo hesitated, but released my wrist after a long gaze with his father. There was a strong conflict that was storming in his eyes, filled with worry and anger. "Then we're coming with you."

"Bout time we got some action." Raph spun a red handled sai in his hand.

All the turtles kept an easy gaze on me, nodding their agreement and waiting for my reply. I could use their help, I really could. But I kept thinking of every possible outcome. Almost every single one ended with one or more of the turtles coming home stone cold. Dead. I _cannot _let them happen.

I opened my mouth to speak, slightly shaking my head but Donnie knew what my answer before I said it.

"We know you don't want us to get hurt, but we're not going to give you a choice. You think we're going to let you walk out of here without us?" He leaned on his bo staff with a gentle smile.

"But what if one of you do get hurt? It would be all on me and I can't let that just-"

Stop. You're not going into this alone. You have _us._" Leo nodded slowly, matching Don's smile. The fire began to die down in his eyes and were replaced by immense worry and… a tinge of hope. His encouragement made my heart tingle slightly, but it also made my stomach do a complete barrel role.

I breathed deeply. Heaving my shoulders once. "Okay. But you need to _exactly _what I tell you."


	4. Chapter 4

**Does anyone want to explain to me what a Mary-Sue fic is? Sorry I'm not rolling with dice here but... Lol. Help? **

**And I'm sorry that you find this story distasting **_**MArYsUeH8r. **_**Actually, I'm not sorry. I mean, I couldn't tell by your username that you hated Mary-Sue fics or anything. I can write what I want. If you don't find it interesting, that's fine, but kindly leave your opinion to yourself for Christs sake... **

**Chapter 4**

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><p>I took a deep breath. Rileys place was on the outskirts of town- at least it was when I last saw him. It's been months so who knows if he stuck around the old abandoned building he camped out at.<p>

He used to a wealthy teenager. His parents had their own shipping business that put them in the millionaire status, also something that my father wanted to use for transporting illegal goods. Riley's parents were murdered by my sisters hands and it was my responsibility to kill the heir to their business. Except, I couldn't kill Riley. Just like with Jack and the other clients I was supposed to murder. I was a failure and it didn't bother me. I just wanted to help the clients stay alive.

But forcing them into hiding wasn't what I wanted either. At least Jack got into a department business. Riley just hid. He became part of the slums with a permanent frown on his face. Well, it was time for him to leave altogether. Get out of the state. Be safe for once in his life. I just hoped my sister hadn't beaten me to him.

"This is it?" I felt Leo beside me, staring at the old, broken down apartment complex.

I nodded. "Yes. Just like I remember it."

Leo turned back to Raph, Donnie and Mikey who I wanted to stay behind on the outside. Keep an eye out for anyone who may show up. Leo had a headset on that connected with the rest of the brothers. The plan was for Leo and I to get Riley out as quickly as possible without setting off any traps Karai may have led out. I knew some of her old tricks. But she also knew that I would be able to find some her traps if there was any at all. She was clever. She would know how to catch me off guard.

Shitty plan. But too much movement in the building could set off some traps.

"Keep an eye out you three." Leo said, taking a deep breath with a heavy nod.

"We're ready." Donnie murmered, holding a pair of binoculars in his hands. Raph and Mikey nodded back.

I didn't hesitate to start for the building, leaving behind the three turtle brothers with Leonardo behind me. I stopped him before we even entered the building. Karai had a nag for setting up tripwires. It was her specialty. But it didn't look like there was one at the entryway.

"Keep your eyes on the lookout for tripwires." I murmered. I could physically feel his guard raise significantly.

"What else?" He asked, keeping his voice low.

"Listen."

A silence fell over us, so quiet that my own breath seemed to die as soon as it left my mouth. Leo didn't move, but a moment later, there was a faint beep.

"What was that?"

I could into guess where it was. There was a door way across from us. I slowly walked through and found a small box attached to the wall. Stopping Leo, I kept to the side of the bomb and pulled out a shruiken, cutting the black wire on top of the box. The dim red light on the top died as soon as the wire was cut.

I felt a heavy sob get caught in the back of my throat, but I pushed it down. "She's been here."

Leo let out a deep sigh but didn't reply. I pushed forward to the one of the upstairs rooms that he decided to stay in. The place was falling apart. A distinct smell mold and rotting wood permeated the air.

I heart started to sink lower and lower as we pressed on through the darkness of the building. I disconnected two more bombs at each set of staircases leading to the next level before the fresh smell of blood began to linger in the air. Leo noticed too.

"Do you smell it too?" He asked.

I turned my head back to him, nodding solemnly. "Yes."

I wasn't ready to see Riley. Not with that scent. Leo began speaking into his headset, giving Donnie and the others an update on the inside as I approached the room Riley had been in last time I saw him. I didn't try to show it, but my hand was trembling as I grabbed the doorknob. I was terrified- and I had every right to be; because the sight on the other side of the door wasn't pretty.

Riley was laying against the wall with a two shruikens embedded in his skin. One was was sticking out his shoulder while another was stuck in his stomach.

And he was still alive.

His breaths were raspy as I raced to his side. Blood was soaking his shirt and he had dark bruises beginning to form on his skin. He's been hanging on for a couple hours.

"Hey hey hey Riley. It's Elena." I gently took ahold of his arm.

Leo let out a defeated breath as he started to update his brothers.

I gently lifted Riley's chin and his eyes lit off a little sparkle at the sight of me. ".. Hey... Elena... Long time... Huh?"

I let out a humorless chuckle. "Ya. It's been awhile. Let's get you out of here." I started to get a grip on his arm but he stopped me, wincing as he put a shaky hand on my shoulder.

"No... I'm not... Going to... make it much longer... You should know... Karai... She's... Hunting you down." He rasped out. Struggling to spit or each word. "Did she... Leave that on... You're face?... Or did he?"

I paused, closing my eyes for a second. "He did..." I couldn't let him die. It was not an option. "I'm bringing you to a hospital."

"Elena... Get out of... Here." He eyed Leo behind me, but didn't really seem to mind his presence. Riley probably never saw a mutant turtle, but when he was on deaths doorstep, I'm sure he could care less what he saw. "I know you... Finally left your... Shitty home. You... staying with him?"

Leo kneeled beside me, nodding.

Riley chuckled, but broke into a fit of nasty coughs. Blood was beginning to trail down the corner of his mouth. "She was always... one to run... with a... strange crowd. Keep her.. Safe... Will ya?"

Leo nodded again, glancing at me. "Of course."

At any other moment, my heart would have fluttered at that. His blue gaze was rested on me with so much determination. But...

My voice started to crack. "You're not dying."

There was a sudden beeping, it was long and slow. Looking behind me, neither Leo or I noticed a box over the doorframe. A bomb.

_Fuck. How could we have missed that. _It was going to implode in 60 seconds.

"Get out..." Riley pushed me away weakly. He frowned when I didnt get up. "Elena.." He looked at Leo who ha stood up quickly.

Leo took the glance and nodded. He gently took ahold of my by the arm and started to pull me back.

"Riley... No." My voice started to raise as I struggled against Leo's grip that he started to tighten.

"We need to get out of here Elena." Leo said, his voice started to panic slightly.

"Get out Elena..." Riley broke into a small, bloody grin. "And... Kick your sisters ass for me..."

"No..." I wanted to haul Riley over my shoulders against his will, but Leo started to pull me out of the room. My screams were beginning to echo throughout that building. This is exactly what Karai wanted. My pain.

The beeping got faster. That bomb wasn't the only one attached to the walls. Leo and I passed several without noticing. Karai never set up so many.

I finally gave into Riley's and Leo's demand and started to run. Karai would be close to the building. Maybe she was watching me now.

"Tell the others that as soon as we get out, we're leaving for the lair. Immediately." I said, choking a small sob.

Leo could have probably guessed this already. But he repeated me anyway. We made it out of the building, racing across the cracked pavement as the building imploded. Leo stopped and turned around but I kept going. I remembered the street that we had come from to get here. It wasn't until we were far enough that all I could see was the black smoke merging with the dark sky when I turned around to look back.

This time. I didn't cry. My tears were used up. I didn't have any left to shed. I stared at the rising smoke with infuriating anger.

_I'm a failure_. Even when I was at my old home, I never had the guts to kill the clients that father wanted dead. Weak. And I couldn't save anybody. I needed to come with the terms that death was going to follow me wherever I went.

"Elena. I'm sorry." Leo put a hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

I glanced at his three fingered hand. I liked the affection. I liked that he wanted to comfort me, but I didn't want it now. It was the last thing I wanted. I shrugged his hand off. "Don't be sorry. I should've known better. Nobody is safe in my life."

* * *

><p>She stared at the smoke like it was Karai and the Shredder themselves. There was so much hate lingering in her narrowed eyes that it almost frightened Leo. He breathed, glancing at his brothers behind him who had solemn expressions.<p>

"Let's go."

The trip back to the lair was quiet. Elena drowned herself in her utter failure. Donnie noted her clenched fists, her knuckles turning whiter as they walked on through the dark tunnels of the sewer. He felt his shoulders rise in a deep sigh. When him and Elena had been checking up on re healing cuts, she completely let some of her secrets spill out. He knew about Jack and Riley. They were her only friends. If she hadn't met himself and his brothers, where would she be? On the run? Hiding and fighting for life? Or would she be dead?

Elena went straight to the dojo. Which struck all the brothers a little oddly. Especially Raph. He was always the one storming off to the dojo when things went wrong. It was his time to cool off and let his frustration out on the punching bag in the corner of the dojo. It wasn't often that someone else shared his idea of letting off steam.

Leo watched her slip inside and he felt the urge to follow her. But then again, maybe she needed some time to herself. His mind wandered back to finding Riley. Before Elena had even entered the building, she stiffened up significantly. She knew something was wrong. The pain he saw in her eyes when they found Riley stuck like pig. It was sick and disheartening and yet, she looked as though she wasn't surprised they found him like that. Her feelings confused him slightly. They were mixed and mashed together into a swirl of different emotions from the years of torment she was forced through.

_Maybe I should talk to her? _

No. Give her a little time. Leo wanted to talk to Splinter first. He still needed to be informed of how the mission went. Splinter of course, already could see the pure failure by everyone's frustration and solemn emotions. Donnie shut himself in his lab, wanting his own alone time while Mikey went off to use his skateboard in the sewers. Raph was moody. But that's not exactly new. Maybe the way he dramatically slouched on the sofa and flipped through the channels. He wasn't really paying any attention to what he was watching.

Splinter greeted Leo as he approached his chambers. "Leonardo. I would like to hear what happened."

After reminiscening the nights events, Splinters ears fell and his chin dropped slightly as though he was in a state of utter defeat like Elena was.

"She is such a strong soul but there is so much darkness that clouds her world." He muttered.

Leo breathed heavily. "Sensei, I've been meaning to ask you... Could I have your permission to train with Elena?"

Splinter found the request interesting. He could feel his sons emotions fidgeting in the air. "That... My son, is not my decision to make. Why do you ask?"

"I just... I'm not really sure. I want to make her stronger." His hopes raised as he spoke. "She stills sleeps with a knife every night. She still has nightmares. She still barely eats and she can't train with anyone but herself. I guess I just want to help her heal?"

Admiration flooded through Splinters body. He knew Leonardo had always pondered what his existence was in life. He, along with his brothers and Splinter himself were genetic accidents. By all rights, they shouldn't exist at all. Yet they do. In Elenas particular case- shes a misfit. An outcast from society and her own family and doesn't belong anywhere. That didn't sit right with Leo because he himself was in the same position with his family. He just didn't want to believe that anyone like her could have no right place in this world.

"I think... That is a wise thought." Splinter said, slowly nodding in agreement. "It would do Elena well but I will say that it will take time and lots of patience. She is a broken warrior and putting those peices back together is near impossible, but... I can only believe there is a little hope."

Leo partially understood. Yes, she was broken. She was battered and worn-down. Shattered. But Leo held his own self determination to help her find a way out of the pitch darkness her mind was lost in.

"Hai Sensei."

Leo stayed to meditate, hoping to give Elena more time to herself. It had been over four hours by the time he decided to go visit her. She was still in the dojo, but when Leo opened the door, she was standing in the middle of the room with her arms dangling at her sides. A shruiken was grasped in one hand, but the others were on a target straight ahead of her. Every single knife was in the center bullseye. Her skill with those impressed him.

"Hey." His voice didn't move her. She kept completely still, staring at the target with narrowed eyes that were now slightly softened from when he last saw her a couple hours ago. He stood next to her, looking from her to her undying gaze at the target.

"Is it wrong that I imagined my sister in front of that target?" She whispered so softly that he almost didn't hear her.

"No." Leo said. "You don't deserve what she's done to you."

She slowly turned her head towards him. She looked completely defeated. Exhausted. "Could you say the same thing if it was one of your brothers?"

She got him there. Would be able to kill one of his brothers if they turned down a dark path? That's something he didn't want to explore in his life.

Except, Elena was already exploring that... And she has been or years.

Leo breathed deeply. "I can't say... And I don't know if I ever could."

Elena turned back to the target. "Thats what I thought." She gripped the knife in her hand before throwing it at the target, wedging the knife between two others in the bullseye.

He wanted to tell her that her friends death wasn't her fault, but he had a feeling she wouldn't believe him. Not at this point.

* * *

><p>I could feel him staring me. I didn't feel uncomfortable underneath his state though. I just didn't care anymore. There wasn't anything that could really faze me now.<p>

"Do you want to spar?"

Except for maybe that.

I turned to him, confused. Those big turquoise eyes of his waited for an answer intently. I didn't think he knew what he was asking. The sudden change of subject caught me off guard.

"Spar?" I asked, still confused with his odd request. He knows I can't do that. He knows. Right? What was he thinking?

But he nodded.

"Leo, you know I can't-"

"Yes you can." He took a step back. "No weapons. Just you and me. It will be fun."

"Fun? Sparring is fun."

"Yes it is. You just haven't experienced sparring with a partner you're not afraid of."

He got me there. I couldn't be pissed at him for saying that.

His gaze softened, but there was something about the lingering intensity in his expression- _protecting, _maybe. But what would I know about anyone wanting to protecting me anyway? I wouldn't know what that type of expression looks like.

But it looks like he wouldn't let me walk away without accepting his request.

"Okay." I whispered.

There was a light playful look that came across his soft expression. A look of victory that said he was successful in convincing me. He took a stance at the edge of one of the training mats and got into stance, I followed.

He was a skilled fighter. I had to give him credit after we began the match, very skilled indeed. His playful smirk shifted to immensely concentrated. There were several grunts following strikes and blocks.

But perhaps a minute or two in, I began to panic. Just I had when I sparred Splinter, I started seeing flashes of my father in front of me with his bladed gauntlets slipped on. I could feel my blocks began to speed up as I felt the pressure begin to press me down.

Then my legs went out from under me, I let out a yelp as my back hit the ground roughly. _How could I be so careless? _My hand immeditely went to cover my face to await the final blow.

"Hey hey hey, Elena. It's okay." It wasn't my fathers voice. It was too warm. Too comforting. Leo's concerned, worried face stood above mine. He was kneeled next to mine.

I let out a deep frustrated breath. _Stop acting so weak. _

"Sorry. I..."

"I understand. Want to try again?" He asked, standing up and extending a hand.

I stared at his three fingers for a moment before slowly grabbing it. This kind of aid and support was foreign to me. I didn't get it... And I didn't get why I was so confused about getting any assistance.

The match restarted. And then another. And then another. Each time was more discouraging than the last. My frustration was beginning to rise.

_You're weak Elena. _

I shook my head. Flinching from the voice.

_Useless. _

My head tilted quickly, like there was an annoying bee in my ear. It was _his _voice.

There was quick flash of silver that sliced across my vision, throwing me off guard momentarily. It was enough time for my father to throw me to the ground.

I cried as I hit the floor again. My breaths heaved in and out dramatically.

"Elena, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" Leo stood over me again, erasing fathers image from my mind.

"Fine."

"That's enough for today." He stood up and extended a hand again. "You did good."

I accepted his assistance, but still the same unfamilier feeling of gratitude. The act still felt bizzare and unusual. I want sure how I felt about it.

But as I stood up, I glanced at him. _I didn't do "good". _

"Thanks Leo." I muttered and began walking towards the door of the dojo.

_Worthless. _

I cinched at the dark voice inside my head that belonged to my father. It switched off from him to Karai like a tag team. I couldn't shut it off.

It was completely maddening.


End file.
